And here you face a paradox, Robbie.Because what you want - what you need so desperately - has no realname."And she was right. There were words - alien, clinical words he'd readin textbooks and heard on documentaries - but they couldn't begin todescribe the complicated emotions he'd experienced in the precedingweeks. Robbie knew precisely what they meant, but the meaningsthemselves were irrelevant. As she'd said, what he wanted had no realname."What can I do?" He asked, teetering on despair."Give it a name." I can't. I ... I don't know how to put it into words." You don't WANT to put it into words Robbie. You want the answer, butyou don't want to ask the question. You want the cake but you don'twant to cook. You want the gain, but not the pain. Like all men, youwant The Easy Solution." She measured him with a dry, levelling glance."I thought you were different." I am!" he almost wailed. This wasn't right, she wasn't being fair. HeWAS different, he'd been made to feel different from. At the age of twenty-eight, I was a Navy lieutenant at a desk in the Pentagon. I had not set foot on a ship since I graduated. I found myself land bound doing things I really did not want to do for the Navy and not enjoying Navy life at all. I did my job and tried not to let my dissatisfaction with the Navy show.I did a lot of dating while in the Academy, mostly of daughters of higher ranking officers. I found that the women who were the pretty ones often were the most self centered people I met. Even the average looking ladies seemed to be completely stuck up.The senator's daughter, Heidi James, moved to Washington DC, and made a point of setting me up with dates. She and I remained close friends over the years but she said she considered herself too old for me. It was not something I agreed with but it was her decision and I decided to live with it.I really was lucky though since I regularly bought a lottery ticket, and hit a $308 million jackpot. Uncle Sam was pleased also, and.
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